HOW DO I BRING UP THE FUTURE WITH MY BOYFERIEND?
Dear Ryss, my boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for a year. Everything is fine. I think we are perfect for each other. I’m not ready to move or get engaged anytime soon, but I want to make sure we’re both on the same page, which will happen in the future. I heard horror stories of dating people who avoided the topic and found that one person wasn’t on the same page. Besides, I don’t want just to have a conversation because a year has passed, and it’s time to talk about these things. I want to make sure we’re on the same page. How would you imagine starting a conversation without making him think I was trying too soon because I definitely didn’t mean to!
A year is a good time to consult with your partner about your relationship and prospects. When time flies, it will certainly get bigger when you fall in love. It is wise to reflect on what works and where you want to go. Ensure both parties are on the same page or find out how to get to the same page.
First, I said that you are happy that things are going well and that you have found someone in him who you think is a good fit for you. Also, allow him to share his opinion. In fact, this is a great opportunity to discuss things that may be needed to improve the relationship.
As you move on to the next point, you will realize no pressure in a relationship to take natural big actions.
Know what you want
Please share your thoughts on the future with him. Before you have a conversation, make sure you know what you expect from a relationship so you can express it clearly to them. Immediately indicate when you are ready to take the next step in the relationship and what the next step will be.
The more confidence you have in the desired relationship, the more productive the conversation will be. He will be able to decide, based on your wishes, whether he wants to go in a similar direction.
Ask him if he has any common ideas about your future or ideas about his. If he didn’t have these answers on the spot, it would be great because he might need time to think about his situation.
If he has time to sort out these ideas, he can discuss this conversation again. Looking directly for answers can evoke a sense of urgency that you want to avoid. Reiterate that you are happy with this relationship’s position and hope to work with him to determine if the next few steps are appropriate for being a couple.
These conversations may be a bit awkward at first, but keep in mind that you both need to know what each other expects from this relationship. Be honest with what you’re looking for and be willing to accept whatever he wants.